More Coffee? And Convo?
Don’t mind if I do.
I’ll give you a topic…
(Actually, I’ll steal another topic from your facebook requests.)
When do you find time for the spiritual disciplines?
Ok, that wasn’t exactly how that question was phrased, but asking me when I do my “quiet time” is simply cause for giggling. Because it’s rarely quiet here.
Admittedly, I’m writing this at 2pm while the Littles are napping and the Bigs are outside playing and it’s fairly quiet. (Except for the opening and closing of the front door roughly 800 times as kids come in and out and ask if they can play “sword-fighting” with wood scraps.) So, YES, it gets quiet here and YES an introverted mama like me really does go to her room despite fear of the house burning down just to get some alone time.
But that wasn’t really the question.
The question (I think) was more about how do we busy mamas find time to grow spiritually when we’re being tapped dry emotionally and physically? And how can we set good examples for our kids so they learn to do the same thing?
I’ll tell you what I do and what I wish I did better and then you all can tell me what YOU do.
We’ll conversate, ok?
Prayer
Sometimes I think prayer was created just for mamas because it’s honestly the one thing we can do any time, any where, no matter how full our hands are. I’ve told you all about the Lesson of the Prayer Crickets and how I’ve translated that to praying at set times during the day. In the morning I pray for my kids. In the afternoon, I pray for others.
The benefit to having those crickets call me to prayer is that I’m not the only one who hears the Crickets. (Note to self: remember to TURN OFF THE CRICKETS during church. Jumping under the pew to find one’s phone is only funny so many Sundays in a row.) But explaining that alarm gives me a chance to talk about prayer to anyone within earshot. And it may even give me a chance to talk about the Gospel.
And just who is within earshot of me the most?
My kids.
Ain’t that a kick?
They know those crickets and they know what they mean. At 10 am, when the crickets go off, a scuffle will often ensue to be the child closest to me so I can put my hand on their head and pray for them. Or if I just bow my head where I’m at, they’ll ask me, “Was it me? Did you pray for me this time, Mommy?”
I can get up and place a hand on a child’s head, I can grab the kid that wins the scuffle, or I can just lift my hands and close my eyes and cover them all in one fell prayer swoop. I don’t always pray out loud, but they know I’m praying and they know it’s about them.
Doing this has allowed me to demonstrate the discipline of prayer to my kids, but also the relationship aspect of prayer. My kids know I talk to Jesus. They know there’s a relationship there. And I hope they want one, too…
Of course, they’re not the only people on my heart, which is why there’s that 4 pm alarm. Sometimes I whisper these prayers out loud over dinner prep and sometimes I just stop and grip the counter and grit out my worries and anxieties and sorrows in my mind.
I think the discipline of praying at a set time ensures that I really do pray. I don’t just worry over something or somebody. Sometimes prayer seems like such a non-helpful thing when you want to be Doing Something About It All but honestly? Prayer is a whole bunch more proactive than worrying and hand-wringing.
(p.s. My friend Missi wrote more practical tips about this discipline of prayer in the crazy,)
Scripture Memory:
This year, I challenged Andrew to join me in the Romans Project over at Ann Voskamp’s site. I printed out notecards because I like to SEE and FEEL my words and Andrew is using Scripture Typer. We say our verses to each other and egg each other on to keep going when we get busy and forget. It’s a friendly competition but it helps spur us on to consistent memory work.
I keep my notecards in the kitchen so I can study them while I feed Finn breakfast or while the kids are eating lunch. Finn hasn’t been as interested in breakfast lately (go figure) so I took my cards, stuck them in a ziploc baggy, and took them with me to the shower to study.
Romans 1 Verse 13?
Done before I’d even shaved my legs.
The great part is, even though we’ve purposefully left the kids out of this little venture, they’re intently watching us learn and study. I often say my verses to Sam or Ian when Andrew isn’t around to listen. They get a kick out of the banter and “friendly competition” that Mommy and Daddy have. They want to know WHY we’re doing it and we’re modeling various ways HOW to do it.
Hopefully, they’ll want to join in our fun at some point.
Sneaky, huh?
(Want to join us, too? It’s not too late. We’re almost done with Romans 1 but in another week or so, we’ll start Romans 8. Two verses a week. No big whoop.)
What I Wish I Did Better:
I don’t sit down and model an actual “daily quiet time” for my kids. I grab snatches of Scripture reading on my phone, we do devotions as part of school and we do family worship in the evening. But that personal journaling, quiet reflection, and study time?
It doesn’t happen.
I know mamas who do it and do it well. Those who rise faithfully before their kids. Those who manage it during bath time. My mentor told me to just leave the books and journals out where you’ll see them, remember to pick them up. But our house doesn’t currently lend itself to having any more book clutter.
Some day, I think it will. Maybe when Finn quits unloading the TV cabinet hourly like it’s his own personal smorgasbord of DVDs to chew on…
For now, though, I cling to the snatches of Truth I can find. I look forward to my mornings off. And I pray that by being faithful in the little things I CAN do, God will honor that faithfulness in the future with more time for quietness and reflection.
Now tell me. What’s your spiritual growth plan? Is it podcasts (something I’m only just now getting into), notecards, journaling, early mornings, or the Bible in a year plan? When do you find time for prayer?
What spiritual disciplines to you model well for your kids? What do you wish you did better?
My alarm went off during church this Sunday because we had a guest speaker who apparently didn’t know that noon is The Hour of Illumination. Humph.
Ps. I’m getting into podcasts too. of what you hear every Sunday though.
Now (kids 15.5, 15, & 11.5) my life has evened out to walking on the treadmill in the a.m.’s & reading my Bible on my iPad 30-45 min. It’s the start these days need. I pray in the shower which follows right after that walk on the treadmill.
But when my kids were little, I had to be creative during the nap times or prop my Bible on my recipe holder & read, recite memory verses, sing, pray, etc. while cooking dinner. The boys figured that was me cooking dinner so they didn’t interrupt all that often plus it kept the witching hour from being quite so witching. Plus, I could toss food snacks in their general direction when they came in.
I wrote out verses on index cards and taped them to all of my kitchen cabinet doors and the mirrors of the bathrooms and so on. I would pray through notecards as we drove around town on errands (with the interjections of “Stop touching your brother.”) But what has always been key is making the time, making it a priority, making part of my day focused on Christ.
Those little ones that are now these big ones need their mom to love Christ more.
“Sometimes I just stop and grip the counter and grit out my worries and anxieties and sorrows in my mind.” I love that. Sometimes it’s all I manage to do – I just trust that God understands and is gracious and merciful.
I’m going to have to start the prayer crickets. Love it.
I’m a wake up early person. If I don’t spend a few minutes with God, the day does not go right. I read Spurgeon’s Faith’s Checkbook when I only have time for a few paragraphs. That book is GOLD (and available for free online!).
PRAYER–my recent favorite thing!! A few months ago I started a bi-monthly mom prayer group in my home. Most of the time it’s just 2-3 of us. We pray for an hour straight, and it is a mini-retreat for my soul every time (usually at some point in the prayer I cry for the sweet relief it is to know my kind Father cares and is powerful!). It is also a very necessary reminder that I am not the on that is effecting a change in my kids–and therefore, praying is the most important work I can do! I usually ask someone to help with the kids but I would be happy to let Phineas and Ferb babysit if that means I get to pray. I can’t recommend this highly enough!! It has changed my spiritual life and my mothering!
Things I do to cultivate a life of prayer and sustain intimacy with God when life is crazy
• I repent. A lot. Often to my kids, sometimes in a “mommy time-out” when I need to. And then I receive God’s forgiveness and start over.
• Listen to and sing worship music throughout the day
• Prayer triggers – tying certain activities with specific related scriptural prayers. For example – touching a door handle = open the door to Jesus (Rev. 3:20); flipping lightswitches = enlighten the eyes of my understanding (Eph 1:17-19)
• Ask my kids to pray for me when I’m struggling. I have no problem telling them exactly what I’d like them to pray, i.e. “Direct Mommy’s heart into the love of God and the patience of Christ” (2 Thess. 3:5)
• Listen to Audio Bible or watch Visual Bible
• Sing the bible and use songs to memorize verses
• Look for ways to serve outside the home – with or without the kids
• Make time to do something ALONE that energizes me spiritually – This probably happens less than monthly, but I really do better if I periodically get a few hours alone for in-depth bible study with my concordance and a journal, or a long walk in a beautiful area for silence and solitude, or something else that I do with the sole purpose of meeting with God for a while.
Wow, you guys have some great ideas! I’m a super super morning person when I’m not pregnant (read: very sick and tires) so it’s no problem for me to get up at 5:00 and start breakfast and have a dedicated quiet time. When our kids get up they usually “catch us” reading our bible in the morning.
BUT in times like now when I always feel like I’m going under it is much harder. I’ve found in seasons like this I do better with a dedicated bible study that has a workbook and questions because my tired mind can’t even think of anything to meditate on without help! I still just have to snatch little bits here and there though when I’m not dozing off!
I definitely agree about prayer, I think as a mom trying to navigate the craziness of the day this one is the easiest. We pray before meals, after time outs, before naps, when we have ouchies, when mommy is about to break down and so on and so forth. I did notice in this vein though I wasn’t doing a very good job praying for other people so we made prayer pops out of Popsicle sticks and anytime we get a prayer request, or someone is on our hearts, or the missionaries we support we pull a stick and include them in our prayer. My two year old loves this and has taken to just going and pulling a stick to pray for people randomly.
Scripture memory is both my husbands and my weakness. We are both trying to be accountable and we are doing terrible. Just this week I decide we are going to have a Seeds song of the week that we will blast whenever possible and we will all work on that verse that week. We will see how it goes!
I have two boys (1 and 3), and finding time to read and study the Bible is a challenge. I read mostly on my phone, but I have a hard time remembering it if I don’t write anything down. I also use the Prayer Notebook App which has been great. I can set alarms to remind me to pray for people, and when I tell people I will pray for them, I am much more likely to do it if I put it in my phone and set a reminder.
I have a lot I’d wish to do better, especially on chaotic days. I need to force myself to sit back and remember to breathe and pray (ideally at the same time). I love the idea of prayer crickets. I will say, though, that I listen to Christian radio on Pandora all day long when I have music on. Evening dish washing is to Adele radio on Pandora, but during the day, I find I need to be reminded of Truth and God’s provision. I think it’s definitely a good background for my whole family.
I pray often, but I’ve been thinking more about trying your prayer crickets idea, too. I try to spend time just reading my Bible every morning when I get up. That’s before I get up the babies or if I get up late and get them up before I read, I try to get them breakfast and read while they are eating. I keep a journal of sorts where I just write the date and the reference of what I read. If something really stands out to me I may write a note about it or copy down a verse or even write a short prayer. I have a kindle so lately if I’m up early (5 am or so) nursing our newest baby I may pull it out and read my scripture passage then, before I go back to bed. When I realize I’ve been missing my “quiet time”, I ask God to help me spend more time doing whatever it is that I realize I’ve been slacking on.
I’m a little late commenting, however, right after I read this yesterday my little girl (3) asked me to read her Bible to her. I love times like that. Anyway, I have my quite time before bed at night. Sometimes by myself and other times with my little one in attendance.
Side note: I love how the Lord hears our hearts and answers are prayers even when we didn’t know we were asking. Today I was wanting to hear praise music, but I wasn’t taking the time to turn any on and my little girl started playing songs on her ipad and singing along with them. I didn’t ask or voice anything out loud, but He heard my heart’s desire and orchestrated it all out beautifully.
I love the shot of the zip lock in the shower! Here, music plays a big role. My thoughts start heading in one direction, but some praise and worship music will bring them back from the brink of insanity.
That’s great!
I SO want to get back to scripture memorization – that’s the one I struggle with. Okay – it’s one of the ones.
I have an 8:00pm prayer alarm that sounds like geese – it always goes off in public places, and I have to explain why I have geese honking on my phone!