22May

Christmastime, Interrupted

So can I tell you the truth about something? Remember how I said I was making sure I knew where the Christmas decorations were so I could follow through on all of our usual Christmas plans as soon as we moved?

Yea, that was before the Second Plague fell upon us.

We have been so sick, y’all.

The last child has the fever now and Andrew and I finally feel a little less like death warmed up today, so it appears we are on the mend. Thank you, Jesus.

But I disappeared into a fog of kleenex and when I came out of it, Christmas was two weeks away.

Oh.

Hi.

Sometime last week before I got sick, I had a half hour fit of holiday cheer and the kids and I hung some garland on the front porch. From the front of our house, it’s festive. But if you walk in the front door, this is what you see:

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Blank walls. Blank table.

The painters finished painting the main room white today, so that’s a victory, but I’ve learned that knowing where the Christmas stuff is doesn’t mean the house is decorated. It just means I know where it is. (So do the kids. Which is why there are now two more broken ornaments.)

I haven’t spread any Christmas cheer around or made peppermint bark or lit any candles, but I did manage to pick up the Kleenex that littered the floors like snow in my bedroom.

So that’s something, right?

I don’t really have a point other than to say that even with my good intentions and “plan ahead mentality,” Christmastime isn’t happening at my house. Andrew has managed to do some Advent with the kids and we’re talking about who to give our gift to Jesus to, but other than that, I’m failing in the make-it-feel-like-Christmastime department this year.

And I thought maybe it might give some of you a little comfort if you’re feeling as surprised as I am to be mid-December.

If your stockings aren’t hung by the chimney with care or if your Christmas Pinterest Board taunts you more than it inspires you this year, you’re not alone. Sometimes life just doesn’t happen like you thought it would.

But as my dad would say, “We’re making memories here. One way or another.“ (Or maybe he said, “If it kills us.” Both are accurate.)

So maybe this will be the year that my kids look back and call “The White-walled Christmas.” Or maybe they’ll call it “The Year Of The Many Plagues.” They will look back and remember something.

And I guess I hope they remember the few stolen moments of Advent. The long debates about where to send our Christmas gift. Or maybe they’ll remember the way we rubbed them with peppermint oil for fevers or the apple juice they got to drink for sore throats.

Whatever it is, I hope their memories make them feel loved and secure.

I hope they’re absolutely certain that Christmas isn’t something to perform or decorate, that Christmas has already come and changed the world forever.

And I hope they bring their tired old mama some peppermint bark. I’ll still crave it, even when I’m toothless and senile.

******

p.s. I didn’t hear from anyone wanting to be part of Home for Christmas this year, so I’m just going to remind you that the list from 2011 is still up and you can get to it in my sidebar if you want to shop for gifts and help bring orphans home. My apologies if some of the links are no longer working.

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Christmas vs. Christmastime

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I don’t really want to write this post. I don’t want to imagine how I will be misunderstood and misinterpreted. I don’t want to come across as a Scrooge or as sitting in judgment of the decisions others make. But if I’m telling the truth on this blog (and I am) about what our lives are like This Very Second so that one day our kids will know what our hearts were as we raised them, then I owe it to them to write this out.

*End disclaimer.*

Christmastime is something we’ve made up. It’s fun, it’s magical, it’s lights and sprinkles wrapped up with a shiny bow. There’s nothing wrong with Christmastime.

Yet Christmas? THE Christmas? It’s not about fun. It’s about our crushing need for redemption and the ridiculous notion that Hope arrived in a barn. It is joyful celebration of Jesus coming to save us.

Andrew and I often struggle to make that distinction, for ourselves and our kids. Over the past few years, we began to simplify Christmastime, just to drown out some noise. It started with the Naked Tree. We threw in a Jesse Tree devotion and December dinners by candlelight. (I wrote about those today over at Simple Homeschool if you want details.)

Since our season of life is pretty cluttered anyway, keeping our decorations simple has really lowered the stress-level in our house. We still have shiny ornaments, nutcrackers, and happy-making decor, but I try to control myself for the sake of everyone’s sanity.

A few years ago, we became more passionate about where our gift-giving money goes and we started a list of adoptive parents we could support when we made purchases. Hence, the birth of Home for Christmas.

In that spirit, last year, we made a oh-forgive-the-use-of-this-word Radical Decision. We decided that we would take the money we would normally spend on gifts for each other and the kids and we’d give it to a worthy cause. If Christmas is when we celebrate Jesus’s birthday, then we wanted Him to get the biggest gift.

We talked with the kids about it, we chose a place to give that the kids could understand and relate to, and we figured if it didn’t work out, we would try something different the next year.

The results of our experiment surprised us.

When we took the noise of gifts out of the equation, we simplified the tree, and we made our Jesse Tree and candles at dinner the priority, we actually saw Christmas as a family. Not “we experienced Christmastime,” no, we lived and breathed the Birthday of He Who Gave Us Life.

When I shortened my gift list, I began to actually enjoy the sense of expectation in the air again. Because the expectations weren’t about me or the gift ideas I came up with.

On Christmas Eve, when the world really does seem like it’s in hushed expectation, Andrew and I both felt that for the first time, our anticipation was on Christ. We were looking forward to that last Jesse Tree ornament,  sneaking the baby Jesus in the nativity scene, the 25 candles lit on the table, and a big breakfast around those candles with our kids.

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And the kids “got it.” They weren’t distracted. Jesus in a manger wasn’t an after-thought. They didn’t have to suffer through the reading of Luke 1 to “get to the good stuff.” Being together around that table, around the nativity scene that finally held Baby Jesus, that WAS the good stuff.

It was a risky experiment, I know. Definitely different. But, to my surprise, the children remembered last year and were not at all phased by repeating the same thing this year. We discussed it in depth and talked about how gifts aren’t a bad thing at all.  Giving gifts at Christmas isn’t wrong. It’s just not what our family is doing this year.

To help them understand, Andrew and I couched it in terms of Birthdays. We’ve purposefully made birthdays a big deal in our house. On a birthday, we celebrate the Individual. We try hard to “blow it up big” either in terms of a big gift or in marked attention. In a house full of kids, birthdays are a really good way to make them each feel special.

But it also means the kids understand that when it is someone’s birthday, THE INDIVIDUAL gets the attention. And the gifts. Thus, when it is Jesus’s birthday – we celebrate Him. He gets the attention. He gets the gifts. And since He said, “What you did to the least of these you did to me…”* then when we give a gift to those in need, we are giving Him a gift.

And, oh, the family discussion about where we were sending our Jesus Gift this year… Well, some things are private, but it was beautiful, y’all. To see their little hearts moved with compassion, to see them want to pick every. single. charity we suggested. And then to watch them come to an agreement on a cause that was important to all of us…

Well, you know I cried.

Here’s the thing: Christmastime traditions – cookies, funny songs, spending time with family – those can all be done and done well.

But we don’t need those things to have Christmas. Jesus was born, He saved us, and we live solely to celebrate Him. Christmas has already come! And we don’t want to miss Him. We don’t want our kids to miss Him.

So we Simplify.

We set aside our preferences for Christmastime. And Christmas, in all His glory, finally becomes visible.

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*Matthew 25:39-40

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Home for Christmas – 2011

This will be Mira’s first Christmas with us. I get a lump in my throat what I picture the cinderblock structure where she spent her very first Christmas on earth. I remember the tiny girl that never smiled and I can barely breathe at the thought of the dimples she sports now.

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Last Christmas, she was alone. This Christmas, she is never alone.

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There are still so many children in the world who are waiting for their families. Sometimes all that stands between orphans and Home are the funds their families need to find them.

Thanks to the prodding of a friend, I’ve decided to update the Home for Christmas list for 2011. For those of you who may not remember, when we began our adoption, I compiled a list of other families who were selling items to fundraise for their adoption and called it “Home for Christmas.”

We made a pledge as a family only to shop from that list for Christmas gifts and it was a fun challenge, but also a rewarding one. Many of you joined us in our Shopping With Purpose and blessed other families with your generosity.

I’d love it if you’d join us again. We all have gifts to buy for someone. Wouldn’t it be grand if our gifts went so much further than under a tree? We can help lift the burden for other families who have opened themselves up to the Beautiful Mess that is adoption. We can Bring Children Home.

I’ve culled through the list and pulled links that are no longer operational. If I was able to find an update, I made sure to put that out to the side of a website. A few are completely done fundraising, and I couldn’t resist the urge to let you see what you contributed to!

If you are selling items to raise money for an adoption and would like to be added to the list, please let me know (vitafamiliae at gmail dot com).

Help me spread the word, y’all. This matters.

Just ask Mira…

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*photos courtesy of Allison Lewis and Southern Rose Photography.

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I Am Not Fit For Technology

So, if you follow the Vitafam in a Reader (and you should!), you may have noticed that I inadvertently published a copy of the Home for Christmas Master List. Again.  Because I am unfit.

What I was actually doing was adding another wonderful link to the Master List, something that I have been stealthily doing for weeks now.  But I thought it was a good opportunity to point out to you that NEW LINKS ARE BEING ADDED ALL THE TIME and to remind you that YOU CAN DO ALL YOUR CHRISTMAS SHOPPING HERE.

When else can you go shopping and save orphans at the same time?

Also, because I can, I give you A Shameless Plug:  HopeSuds make a fantastic gift, at the office, for the teacher, or for the relative that has everything.  I mean, everybody does laundry, right?  Our travel date will be here soon.  So keep your clothes clean.  And help us bring Baby Girl Home.

And now I’m done bossing you around.  Promise.

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Home for Christmas – Seasonal Stuff & Artsy Stuff

You can tell we’re getting toward the end of the week when I start titling things “stuff.”  I like to think it’s because we’re all getting comfortable with each other.  It’s Friday.  Take your shoes off, let your hair down, lose all sense of verbal creativity you ever had…

Since this little list is called “Home for Christmas,” it only makes sense to feature some seasonal items.

I love the addition of African paper beads to this ornament.  I think one of these ornaments from Embracing the Least of These would give any Christmas tree a global feel.

As someone who likes to pretend she’s a writer, I can totally appreciate this adoptive mother’s use of her writing talents to raise money to bring her baby home.  This Advent book promises activities to help you include the entire family and to grow in your understanding of the Gospel of Christmas.

Speaking of Advent, I love the idea of this Advent calendar.  Africa Bound Andrews made 24 handmade paper envelopes that include 24 different prayers for each day of advent.  My kids would totally get into opening an envelope each day.  Although the magnetic calendars on the pizza pans are perfectly adorable, too.

Moving onto stuff that is totally out of my league, let’s talk about Art…

These custom-made canvases by Custom Art for Our Cause intrigue me.  I especially love the one on the left with the tree.

These custom canvases make my heart feel warm and make my eyes wander all over the house, imagining walls for them.  And this one?

Goose bumps, y’all.  Go get some here.

My friend Allison is adopting from Ethiopia.  And she’s a photography genius.  She’s selling art prints to help bring their little Micah home.  I want to give these chickens to my brother, the chicken farmer.  We could put a sign over them that said, “DINNER.”

I love the idea of coming up with an “In This Home” paragraph for the Vitafam.  But I’d probably end up putting the words “poop” and “underwear” in there and it’d lose all of it’s classiness.  Go get yours here and help bring a baby home from Ethiopia.  And keep it classy!

Well, we did it!  We made it through the list!  Like I said before, I barely shared a third of all the fantastic items that are on the Master List so make sure you click over.  You can also grab the button html at the bottom of the list so we can spread the word.  And if you want to re-visit all of the featured items, check out the Home for Christmas category in the sidebar.

I’d love to hear from you if you’ve found the perfect gift for someone or if you’ve found somebody to support. Thanks for hanging with me, guys.  Now go get shopping.  We’ve got a lot of babies to bring home…

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Home for Christmas – Random Wonderfulness

This might be my favorite category because it isn’t really a category.  It’s a Whole Heap of Random.  Which I always adore.

This is an entire alphabet of magnets.  You can order these funky photographs from Love Letters 2 Ethiopia as magnets or as thank you cards.  I think this is brilliant.  And I want some.

Cheeky Maiden Soap is very near and dear to our hearts.  Not only do we think their soap is the yummiest, most natural, non-drying soap we’ve ever used, but the Cheeky Maiden donates her soap to be used in our very own HopeSuds.  This is the absolute ONLY soap we use around here.  Can’t recommend highly enough.  And the Maiden doesn’t just stop at donating to HopeSuds.  For any purchases made in the month of November, she’ll donate 20% to the Alabama Baptist Children’s Home.  Buy for everyone on your list.  You’ll all smell fantastic, and you’ll feel even better knowing your money has been well spent.

Little Bird Creations makes adorable coffee cuffs and snazzy pincushion rings.  I don’t sew really, but I’d wear one of these rings just for kicks.  And maybe somebody would THINK I was crafty.

I purchased a journal from Vintage Street Simple and I liked it so much, I’ve been making my own journals from old books ever since.  This is a nifty gift for the book aficionado or the writer in the family.

If you’d like to listen to samples of Bring Home Beautiful, visit here. I got to listen to a sneak peek last week and enjoyed it thoroughly.  It’s possible I cried.  The focus is just not on the adoption of a child, but the adoption that the Church has experienced.  Plus, the tunes are pretty catchy.  This CD is for everybody.  Trust me.

Every single bag for sale on this site makes me covetous.  That is all.

You all didn’t think I’d pass up an opportunity for a shameless plug, did you?  The Vitafam makes all-natural laundry detergent to sell with all proceeds going to fund our adoption and, hopefully, the adoptions of other families.  The detergent is HE safe, free from nasty chemicals, and Large Family Approved.  This would make great office gifts.  Throw in a bag of coffee from Just Love Coffee and you’ve got the perfect orphan care gift basket.  Beats a fruit basket any ol’ day.

As always, there’s more where these came from.  Go check out the full list for canvas totes, wine charms, Longaberger baskets, candles… a veritable smorgasbord of Orphan Care Goodies.

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Home for Christmas – All About the Kids

If you’d like a little back story and some navel-gazing about Home for Christmas, go check out my post at Christmas
Change
.

Now, how about we talk about the kids?

These fuzzy letters make ME feel all warm and fuzzy inside.  As the mother of a highly kinesthetic little boy, I’d love to have the entire alphabet so he can feel and mush his way into learning his letters.  Go get your felt letters at The Smiling Heart.

I’m waiting for a picture of our new little girl before I order one of these.  But I DON’T have to wait to order some lkd Kids legwarmers, funny t-shirts, or other hilarious stuffed creatures.   This shop is a must-see.  And while you’re there, would one of you figure out which ethnicity has pink hair????

Even though I have five kids, when a new baby is on the way, I like to collect just a few pretties of those every-day items so I can say I actually bought something “new” for each child.  Buying those pretties from the Galindos means that 100% of the proceeds go to helping orphans.  That’s a pretty perfect solution!

If you’re on the hunt for safe, non-plastic toys, Malot’s Hope is a good place to start.  And when you click on the site, make sure you check out the personalized super hero capes you can have made for all the little super heroes in your life.

I hear these banners are all the rage right now among all the Good Mommies.  This one?  I find precious.  Maybe there’s hope for me yet…  Be a Good Mommy yourself and go check out Crafty Mommy’s other banners and rag dolls.

My kids love to color.  I can’t keep crayons in this place and no tushy is safe from danger of colored pencils in every chair in the house.  Little Miss Blanket’s coloring books are drawn by her husband.  They’ve got transportation, dragon, and ocean themed coloring books.  This would buy me a full hour of quiet time some afternoon.  Oh, and like the name says, this site also offers some pretty sweet flannel blankets, too.

There’s more where these came from.  Make sure you check out all the Kids’ shops and other categories at the Master List.  And get your own Home for Christmas button to share down at the very bottom of that page.

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Home for Christmas – Clothes & Accessories

Now that everybody’s got sparkles in their eyes from all the Jewelry, let’s move on to clothes and other accessories.  And remember, I can’t feature all of the great sellers here, so make sure you head to the Master List for all your shopping options.

I’m going to risk alienating half of you by admitting that we don’t do the applique shirt thing.  Most of the Southland does, but I just don’t get into it.  I think it’s cute, but such cute-ness is rarely available at the thrift stores, so we abstain.  However, this little turkey shirt and skirt set?  It might just convert me.  Dolka Pots is an excellent site that supports several different families in their adoption journey and makes kids’ clothes that are excellent quality and super cute without being “over the top.”  And that is totally worth paying “retail” prices for.  Go.  Shop now. But leave me a few turkey shirts.  I just might talk Andrew into wearing one for the holidays…

This sweet little number by Lolly’s shop is being sold to raise money for a family’s adoption.  A full 100% of the proceeds will help bring a baby home.  And your little girls will look pretty stinkin’ sassy, too.

These fun shirts from Pink Robot would be so much fun to put on my gang, only I’m afraid the French culture would be unappreciated here in the Deep South.  We’d get a lot of people saying, “Gar-Kon?  Fill?  Fill what?  Gar-who?  What’d y’all name yer kidz again?”

I’m sure that such a thing would never happen to you where you live, though.

My daughter is constantly taking the bows I buy her out of her hair and hiding them in corners all over the house.  Every Sunday is a treasure hunt to try to locate a bow and then we give out bonus points if the bow matches her dress.  But just as soon as I can train her to quit hiding them, I want 800 of these Klippies by Kris for my little ladies.

Accessories aren’t just for the little people.  Magnolya Designs has a whole host of hair thingies for big girls and little girls, plus an assortment of fun and funky magnets, bags, and something called a “Scoodie,” which is a combo scarf/hoodie.  I’d be all over this particular hair clip except we all know even one as bright as this wouldn’t be visible inside the tangled mass that is my hair.

Assuming I had a body-type that allowed for the wearing of belts, this would be my first choice.  I mean, Julia Roberts wore this in her most recent movie.  And if it’s good enough for Julia…  The entire Noonday Collection, sold to help women in various countries earn fair wages and to fund a family’s adoption, would look just perfect sitting in my closet.

There’s more where that came from.  Head over to the Great Big List for more clothing and accessories.  Oh, and if you want to help us spread the word, the html for our Shiny Button is down at the bottom of the Master List page.  Keep scrolling, you’ll find it…

More tomorrow!!!

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Home for Christmas – The Jewelry

Welcome to Home for Christmas!!  I’ve collected a list of shops and websites that are selling great gift items to support adoptions and orphan care.  I’ll be featuring different items all week, but if you’re anxious to start shopping, go on ahead and check out the Master List.  I definitely can’t feature everybody, so don’t just settle for what I show you here.  There’s tons more on the List.  Make sure you bookmark it for all your shopping needs.

Now.  Let’s start with the important stuff:  Jewelry.  Or, as we say it around here, “Jewr-rry.”

This little beauty from Adopting Ainsley’s site is probably the first Mommy-necklace I’ve seen that actually has room for the names of each of my kids.  It is at the top of my list when all my children are home safe at last.

To quote a famous under-fed stylist, “I die.”  Wild Poppy Shoppe has a fantastic collection of vintage-inspired (but also hip and quirky) jewelry, brooches, and hairpins.  Swoon.

Stamped jewelry is all the rage right now.  It’s gorgeous, easily customizable, and shiny.  The perfect combo.  SweetTeaShoppe is perfectly in step with the jewelry fads right now, but with the added bonus that every purchase contributes to a family’s adoption costs.  This particular necklace is for all the marathon runners on your Christmas list.  I picked it to feature because it made me laugh out loud.  My necklace would have to read “0.0.  Sit.”

Another current trend seems to be owls.  I haven’t figured this one out yet.  There’s an owl that lives in our backyard that I’d really like to kill around 2 am every morning, but I’m not ready to wear an effigy of him around my neck… yet.  Anyway, JunkPosse has a whole host of options available to you.  There’s jewelry specific to adoption and then there’s… owls.  Proceeds benefit various adoptions and orphan care organizations.  I want one of everything.  Even the owl.

We’ve barely scratched the surface of the List, y’all.  Go check out the rest of the jewelry here.  And remember, a purchase of any of these fine pieces of jewelry will help bring children home to their families, or care for orphans all over the world.  So go crazy…  Buy TWO owls!

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Reminder

Ta-da!  Check out the button Karen at Simply Amusing Designs did for us.

I am so excited to show you all of  the websites I collected that support adoption and orphan care.  I’m pretty much done with my entire Christmas list.  Seriously.

If you haven’t sent me a link yet, please do.  I’m trying to get things sorted out into categories to make it easier for folks to shop, so the sooner I have the link, the better it will be featured.

Orphan Sunday is this weekend and I’d love for folks to have immediate access to a list of ways they can help “care for widows and orphans” this Christmas.  Thanks for your help in spreading the word!

Next week will be a bit different around here, but I think it will be good.  And, never fear, we’ll be back to our Vitafam version of “normal” in no time.

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