Mother’s Day 2012
All too often I hear the words, “I don’t know how you do it.”
And I’ve told you all: the truth is, neither do I. I don’t know how any of us do it. Mothering is two parts mundane to one part super hero.
Andrew was out of town all week and came home sick. My in-laws very sweetly stayed a little longer to keep us all afloat. The kids had doctor appointments, my stupid arm slowed me down, and Ravenous Finn needed me often, as babies do. Even though I had two extra sets of hands (thank you, Gran and Pops), my head barely ceased rotating circles above my shoulders. All the while, my inner voice whispered, “I can’t. I can’t do this.”
At some point, I was rushing off to another appointment and I had a moment of self-awareness. I can. Because I am. Life is happening and I’m doing this thing. I’m mothering.
No responsible adult is going to come behind me and clean up my mistakes. Sometimes I forget I’m not the teenager waiting for life to start. Life is happening. My life is now.
My moment to mother is now.
I look at the day in front of me sometimes and it feels too weighty. Who thought I was able to handle this? I think I can’t do it. Somebody else with more patience, more energy, more creativity could do it. It’s too much for me. But I put one foot in front of the other, take one breath after another, and suddenly, I’m doing it. I’m mothering seven children. SEVEN.
Nobody is more surprised than me.
Too often in the so-called “Mommy wars,” we compare ourselves to others and say, “But I’m not doing it like her.”
Yes. But you are DOING IT. You are being The Mom to the children God created for your unique set of skills.
I guarantee it isn’t as pretty as you want it to be. But somehow, friends, we’re getting through it. We’re raising these little people. Every day is a minor miracle and a major victory. Sometimes we forget to celebrate when we manage to do a load of laundry because we know we just have to do it again tomorrow.
But stop and think: YOU DID IT TODAY.
There’s another side to this “you’re doing it” coin. The side that says: Don’t Miss It. Remember not to wish it away. Don’t count down every day, waiting for the moment you toss the last diaper, the beautiful day when everyone can dress themselves.
Don’t put your head down and plow through only to look up and realize you’ve lost the chance to connect with your kids. BE in the moment.
Too often, I spend my minutes worrying that someone else could use them better or waiting impatiently for another set of minutes to come. Some days, I need to remember to just take pride in the fact that I was a mother to my children today, no matter the crazy. Other days, I need an admonishment to Pay Attention and not let the opportunities for love and joy slip away, no matter the crazy.
And, as in all things, I do nothing but by the grace of God. He breathes life into my every step. He is the author of our days. He is the reason I have victory over laundry, tantrums, and that mysterious smell in the bathroom. He has done It that I might do all the things.
This is the day which the LORD has made; Let us rejoice and be glad in it.
I only have 3 kids who seem practically grown compared to yours. And I’m doing it alone unfortunately. But you’re so right. Don’t ever wish the time away. Because God has given it to us. And He will provide a way for us to do it.
I have wanted to give mothering up for brief moments of time because it is so hard. But I love my kids fiercely. They are amazing creations. Beyond my imagination. And if God love me more than I love my own children? Oh, my…it makes me tremble.
Thank you for writing this on the exact day when I cried and said (again) “I can’t do this.” wow, I needed to read this.
Very true words. I hvae heard many older people say “blink and they are grown up” I don’t want to miss a moment with them, because I know it will end one day, and sooner than I really want it to!
Stephanie
I love this!!! Thank you for reminding me that I am doing this. I am, really, I am! I’m going to say that to myself whenever I start to doubt and question.
My oldest is 2.5 and I swear I still have fleeting moments when I wonder when her mom is going to come pick her up. And then I remember that I’m the mom and I wonder how in the heck that happened.
Such a breath of fresh air! So beautiful. Thank you, LL!
I’m not even a parent and I still feel encouraged! Good word today, LL.
Word.
Lora, thanks for this. You and I are in the exact same stage of life. I gave birth to my 6th, a boy, on March 11 of this year. I saw your pics of labor and cried over them because I was reminded of all the work that was coming! Yet now I have my beautiful baby boy, Josiah. I get asked all of the time how I do it, and I have yet to come up with a good response, but it is by the grace of God. It’s been hard this time, as I feel that many people close to me keep saying that phrase over and over, “I don’t know how you do it!” I think they’re discouraged for me. But I’m not discouraged. I’m doing it, and, as you say, it may not be pretty, but it works for us. Sometimes I just wish I could say that to other people in a kind way. Maybe I’ll just point them to this post! Thank you for allowing me to see that other people, like me, do it messy but do it anyway.
Oh that baby pic slays me! I don’t know how you or I do it, either. But we are. Such a good word. xoxo
Love. Oh yes, “that smell in the bathroom…” BabyBoy’s bathroom 😉 Your littles are so blessed to have you (and Andrew and each other). So blessed. Great reminder to live in each moment. It’s easy to move through a day or days too fast because of “silly” stresses or or or. We talk all the time about savoring each “thing” and day and and and because it just passes way too fast. Always good to hear a great reminder. Those cheeks are getting mighty chubby! Love! 🙂
Yes. This. So much.
As I sat at my daughter’s college graduation, getting her to this point was a lot of work. I couldn’t help but shudder and think how in the world am I going to do that 8 more times? Like you,I have to stop myself and say, I will, I already am. Today. Thanks for the pat on the back.
thank u 🙂