Vitafamiliae

We’ve all had a case of the sniffles and Andrew and I haven’t messed around about nipping this illness in the bud.  We’re dosing the kids with echinacea and mullein, we’re putting oil in their ears, and we’re using “The Shooter.”  It’s basically a big syringe with a rounded tip so that you fill it with salty water to cleanse the nasal passages.  (Like the Neti Pot, but faster.)

I never said it was sexy.  Just that it works.

The kids generally hate this thing.  Willa doesn’t mind it, because it helps her breathe.  The others think it’s a small instrument of torture.  They resort to screaming and wrestling like we’re cutting their head off.  So this time around, I got smart.  I told Andrew, “We’re gonna make it worth their while and let them associate something GOOD with this thing.”

So I broke out the York Peppermint Patties.™  Nothing says “bribery” like high fructose corn syrup and chocolate.

I showed it to the children and informed them that if they could withhold the screaming, they would get their very own patty.

Ian managed absolute silence.  Sam very bravely said, “Ahhhhhhh” at the appropriate time and only raised his voice a little.  Adam screamed like a banshee.  Ellen screamed at first, but we kept waving that chocolate in her face and she muscled through.

All day today, they discussed how it would be when we did “the shooter” again.  Ellen even practiced standing over the sink a few times and saying “ahhhhh.”

“I say ‘ahhhh’ I get delly been.”

Yea, after the first time, we downgraded the prize to jelly beans.

And now, we’ve got it down to a science.  Andrew holds the child over the sink with their head turned just right so the water flows in and out like it’s supposed to.  I’m “the shooter.”  Once I shoot the water up one side, I hand the child a tissue and run around to the other side for a second “shot.”  Then I dole out another tissue and bestow the jelly beans.

At some point, Andrew got a good look at me and laughed.  I looked down.  I had two Kleenex shoved down the front of my shirt so I could grab them quickly after each shot. (Who knew being a girl meant I have a built-in pocket for life?)  I had four jelly beans in one hand and a giant nasal syringe in the other.  I rolled my eyes and said, “I get it done, don’t I?”

Then Andrew asked me if I was going to blog this.

Well.  I am now.