Vitafamiliae

When we went south for the wedding, we were excited about the prospect of all being together.  What we didn’t take into consideration was that Andrew was a groomsman with responsibilities, the girls were flower girls with places to be, and my boys and I were along for the ride.  Which meant that, essentially, it was me and five kids experiencing all of this “togetherness” we were hoping for.

And we had a great time.  Seriously.

First off, our hotel was fantastic.  The beds were nice, the people were sweet, and, well, we made quite a stir wandering the lobby, which meant we got spoiled a bit.

Our first morning there, Andrew left early and I made the classy decision to take the kids down to breakfast in their pajamas.  A wise mother would have done it because she was worried about her kids getting messy over their meal.  I did it because I knew I couldn’t get them all bathed and dressed before they quit serving breakfast downstairs.

There was a waffle maker at breakfast, which meant my kids thought we’d gone to Disney World.  They also loved being shown how to operate the juice machine (I didn’t show them, the nice serving lady did) so they could get their own sugar water juice without me knowing it.  Once I managed to get enough food in front of my little birds, it was actually fun to sit there with them at breakfast and know that I could just relax and not worry about having to clean up after them.  It was… peaceful.

Until somebody asked for more waffles and Willa dumped her bacon on the floor.

We managed to sleep our little brood very comfortably all in one room.  The first night was not so fun, because Sam was a restless sleeper and kept wiggling, which made the sheets rustle, which kept us all up.  Eventually, Andrew picked him up and tossed him on a blanket on the floor.  We slept great until MeMe called my phone at 7am.  I didn’t move my lips, but I believe I grunted agreement to whatever it was she wanted.

That afternoon, I took the girls back to the hotel for a nap.  I got smart and turned the water on in the bathroom like I did when we were in San Francisco.  Voila!  Instant Coma!

We brought Ellen’s pink sleeping bag with us, so Andrew made her a very comfy pallet underneath the desk.  I like to think of it as an upgrade from the closet, where I usually sleep my children.

I’ve still got more random pics for you, just because they make me happy, but I can assure you, none of them are the “action shots” you’re wanting of the bride and groom.  That’s not what “we” do here, people.  If you want anything more than mediocre photography of minor people and events, then you’ll need to go elsewhere.

My sister is showing some pics over on the family blog, although I haven’t really seen her get to the actual wedding yet, so you’ll have to keep checking.  My aunt has pics up on her blog.  And you can always check out the Mortons’ blog for updates, too.

Meanwhile, come back here often for the normal drivel and mediocrity.

I think the official tally of flower girls numbered 12.  It was all just a tad overwhelming for my girls.

But they sure looked sweet, didn’t they?

With all the noise and the unfamiliar faces, seeing people they recognized was helpful.  Aunt Bob walked by at a crucial moment for Willa and Willa responded with a cuddle so long I got jealous.

Ellen sought comfort in her familiar sidekick, “Boinket.”

I tried to cheer her up by letting her see her picture as we took it.

But in the end, I had to resort to my usual weapon against the Blues:  a silly face.

When it was time for pictures, I felt some apprehension at the idea of getting all those little wiggly bodies to stand still and pose.  I love this next shot of everyone doing their own thing.  It looks like someone just yelled, “HIT THE DECK!” and half the girls are jumping away.

The funny thing is, once Willa realized there was a camera on her, she stood still and smiled sweetly.

Ellen just stood still.

While we waited for the wedding to start, I let Willa try on my Audrey Hepburn hat that I brought to shield my delicate skin from the sun.

She can make anything look good.

When I said yes to the girls being flower girls, I didn’t put much thought into how much waiting or keeping clean there would be.  Fortunately, the wedding was very relaxed and it was totally okay that Ellen kept her blanket wrapped around her shoulders the whole time or that Willa got poop on her dress 15 minutes before the wedding started.  (So, I didn’t really tell anyone about the poop, but I’m assuming since no one said anything, we got away with it.)

It was a bit strange for me, doing the girly side of a wedding.  When the boys were in a wedding last year, I was more concerned about wrestling matches and wild ringing of bells.  This time, it was cuddles and flowers and bobby pins and white dresses… oh my.  But it was good.  It was sweet.

And it was wild.

My brother, Noah, got married this weekend.  And I’ve got a million pictures and stories to tell you, but let’s skip right to the good stuff:  the ceremony.

Here comes the bride!

I’m sorry for making these small, but if you click them, you can see them better.  Willa is in the wagon with another baby and Ellen was a flower girl.  She’s the one with her “boinket” wrapped around her neck.  Whatever kept her calm and cooperative…

See the lady in the green dress holding a parasol over the fair-skinned babies to shield them from the sun?  She’s the mother of the bride.  That’s the kind of sweet family my brother married in to.  Eventually, she handed her parasol over to a cooperative flower girl.  (And Willa’s compadre in the wagon melted down and went to her grandmother’s arms.)

Willa sat very sweetly and played with the toys and crackers hidden in the wagon.  I sat and watched her, mystified as to who this laid-back baby was that came to the wedding.  She looked like Willa, but she was only half as ornery.  Ellen, on the other hand, was more… mobile.  She wandered among the flower girls, checking out the crowd and sucking her thumb.

Eventually, though, the ceremony got her attention.

(See Andrew being all groomsman-ish behind her?  He looks calm there, but every now and then he’d shoot me a look and then glance at Ellen.  We weren’t really sure whether to make a scene or let her go.)  And she kept on going…

…And going. Pretty soon she was front and center with the best view in the house.  All whilst sucking her thumb.

At some point, she noticed her daddy eye-balling her and she went to wrap herself around his leg.  I began to breathe normally again.

And just so you know, the boys were nearby, swigging water and swatting bugs.

Sam had a great seat.  We were surprised by his independence in just finding his own food, his own spot, his own friends…  Can you spot him on his perch?

My favorite part of the ceremony was this:

Noah and Dorothy chose to wait for their first kiss until their wedding day, but they didn’t particularly want to share that moment with the hundreds of eyeballs at the ceremony.  So Dorothy put her parasol to excellent use.  I think my brother liked it.

Yep, he liked it so much, he went back for more.  (Note the pastor looking down and clearing his throat!)

Once they had their little moment, they gave the public what they wanted with an umbrella-less kiss.  Look at my daddy grinning standing next to them!

Then everyone ran inside to escape the southern Georgia heat.  There go two of my sisters…

… and Andrew is the one on the left.  (How handsome are those suspenders?)

Ellen followed along meekly, thumb still planted in her mouth, “Boinket” still wrapped around her neck, regardless of the sweltering heat.  (Speaking of that blanket, we lost it later in the day.  We finally found someone using it to wipe out the coolers.  They thought it was a rag.  We prefer to think of it as “well loved.”)

Finally, Willa, my HERO, placidly rode along in her wagon to the reception.

It was nothing short of a Matrimonial Miracle.

So tell me, do you have a memorable wedding ceremony moment?  (I remember everyone cried when my dad spoke during ours.  And I remember that my sister Grace fell asleep, spread eagle, on the altar during the prayer.)

I’ve got more pictures and hijinks to come.  See y’all back here tomorrow…

Because we’re weird unsocialized homeschoolers, we do school year round.  We start in June and take lots of small and long breaks.  This year, we took a long break beginning in April, mostly because Mommy needed it.  The last two months have been a bit chaotic and random.  Sort of like my blogging habits.  We start back to school next week, so here’s the Cliff’s Notes version of what we’ve been up to on our “summer” break.

A trip to Gran and Pops’s house.

Gran and Pops very sweetly hosted us for a whole week so I could get some school planning done.  And this picture pretty much sums it up.  Kids crawling everywhere looking every which way and Gran beaming through it all.  It’s nice when someone else appreciates our particular brand of Crazy.

We stopped by Aubrey’s new house so our kids could watch TV together.

Andrew and I squeezed a painting project in somewhere in there.  It’s not finished yet so all you get is this:

We went fishing with Nana and Great-daddy.  Everyone caught plenty of fish, which kept my grandparents and Andrew busy replacing worms, hooks, etc.  I was, ahem, “busy” keeping Willa from crawling through the duck poop.

Every fish Ian caught was the “biggest.”  The boys got a bit competitive about it.  And the fish of Ian’s that got away?  Well, it was “THIS big!”

The kids got to go to a birthday party at Chuck E. Cheese.  Somehow I’ve avoided that venue since I was 7.  We all went on sensory overload a bit.  But the kids got the hang of things pretty quick and were little token fiends.  Willa found a slide that suited her and demanded non-stop sliding.  Andrew obliged, because she’s cute and he’s a softie.

Finally, Ian lost his two front teeth.  The first one he swallowed before he realized it was out.  The second one wasn’t that loose, but my brother kicked him in the face (the littlest one, not the one that’s getting married) and suddenly it was much more loose.  I finally got brave and pulled it for him this morning.  And now he’s the cutest thing EVER. Seriously, that lisp makes me swoon every. single. time.

And swoon-y is pretty much how I feel about the whole break.  We got to spend some good time together just BEING.  We enjoyed each other’s company and blew our routines to smithereens for awhile and I couldn’t be more content to start another school year with these people that I love.

Especially if they lisp sweet nothings into my ear.

Did you ever have so much to blog about that you just got overwhelmed and didn’t blog at all?

To the One of you who noticed the blog had gone a bit quiet (Hi, Aubrey!), I thank you for caring.  We’ve been busy.  But I don’t know how to blog about all of that yet.  So instead, I was typing a comment into a friend’s blog and realized that my little novella would make a useful blog post.  And I’m all about being useful… somewhere.

Lindsay over at Rocking the Mini-Van, who is related to the Vitafam in a round about way, asked about taking a long road trip with her toddler.  Here’s what I had to say:

Get a DVD player or set up your laptop so it will play. (I’ve been known to jam mine between the front seats in a pinch.) Save it. Use it as your last resort when your child starts meltdown. We bring DVDs, but we also like to just have a few episodes downloaded onto iTunes.  I created a playlist of episodes so I could just hit play once and not have to pull over every twenty minutes to change shows when I traveled with the kids by myself.  Our kids love the Backyardigans, RoadRunner and Coyote, and Tigger and Pooh.

Try some books on tape. For the younger set, there’s Curious George, Caps for Sale, or any number of easy children’s audiobooks.  Or maybe some Philadelphia Chickens by Sandra Boynton.  For the 4-6 age group, we started them on chapter books like The Boxcar Children, Winnie the Pooh, or Geronimo Stilton.  (Warning:  I don’t always like the way the characters in Geronimo Stilton talk to one another, but we use it as an opportunity to talk about how to be kind to others.)  It may feel a little early to be starting books on tape with a young toddler, but you could always just download books that you already have.  Then you can either hand the child the book when it comes on the CD, or, you know they already have a familiarity with pictures and story and are using their imagination.  Either way, this builds useful listening skills.

(Word to the wise, change out these books often.  One time we listened to a particular Boxcar Children Mystery so many times we can all quote the thing by memory.  I’m not proud of this, but it’s true.)

Have lots of snacks in your car bag to dole out. I started giving mine a treat after every stop or 100 miles or some other milestone. I buy a thing of Now N’ Laters and they each get one color every 100 miles. Anything for them to look forward to. We lay some ground rules about them, though.  They are not allowed to ask us 800 times when we’re stopping next or “are we there yet.”  If they ask too much, they forfeit their rights to candy.  Cruel, but necessary.

(Be careful to keep the candy to a minimum and the snacks low on sugar.  It’s nice that they’re strapped down for the sugar buzz, but the emotional roller coaster coming down off the buzz might be a bit hard to handle.  Ask me how I know.)

One final tip, tell all the grown-ups to bring headphones and music. If baby has a freak-out, sometimes the only thing you can do is just keep driving. Andrew and I will swap off with “Okay, you get the headphones for half an hour while I field the questions/nagging.”

This keeps the adult whining to a minimum.

We download a lot of comedy routines and stuff that makes us laugh. I also bought a splitter so Andrew and I can each have a set of headphones but listen to the same thing. It’s like a mini-date, with screaming in the background. It helps us cope and keep our moods light so that the children can stay calmer, too.  A few funny people we like that aren’t too crass are:  John Pinette, Brian Regan, Jim Gaffigan, Bill Cosby, Bob Newhart, and Jeff Foxworthy.  And please note, I didn’t say these are all squeaky clean.  Use your own discretion, people.

(Use caution when listening to John Pinette while driving.  Andrew almost had to pull over one time he was laughing so hard.  I’m just sayin’…)

Even though we’re starting back to school next week, I know there are a few road trips in our future this summer.  So hit me with your best tip.  Or your favorite iTunes download for travel.  Or both!  Let’s get Lindsay down the road in her Rockin’ Mini-van with her sanity intact…

We did our Christmas morning with Gran and Pops today.  And because getting out the door involved a five-hour packing marathon, I most definitely forgot the real camera.  Just trust me when I say that the following blurs are my people.

The pants on Pops deserve some sort of…recognition.  When he got ready to go to bed on Christmas Eve, he realized his pajama pants were in a bedroom with sleeping children.  They were only able to reach a pair of Gran’s pants, which left Pops wearing yellow fluffy pajama bottoms to bed.  He wears them well, yes?

The boys got baseball mitts for Christmas.  Now we’ve got to teach them how to play by the rules, rather than chasing each other around the yard with a bat…

Today we went to Aubrey’s house for the day.  This involved some quality time in the car.  On the way home, I decided I’d throw my name in the ring for Mom of the Year and stopped to get the kids milkshakes.  Their little brains almost exploded.  They couldn’t seem to understand that they each got their very own whole cup of ice creamy goodness.

Deprived little babies.

For several months now, I’ve been making the adjustment to five kid cups, five kid plates at dinner, five kid meals when we eat out.  So I just ordered Willa a milkshake, knowing she’d be UP.SET. if she didn’t get what the others had.

I’ll be honest.  I didn’t put a lot of thought into it.  I was on autopilot.  And I’d just had a major brain wave which will totally alter the way we do drive-thrus and I was distracted and exhausted by my own genius.   (I let Ian get out of his carseat while I sat in the drive-thru line.  I had HIM hand out the milkshakes and I didn’t have to waste time pulling over and distributing meals after we got our food.  He strapped himself back in before we even left the line and I shaved ten minutes off our trip.  Brilliant!)

I was so proud of myself, I didn’t give much thought to the atomic bomb I’d just set off in the backseat.

Willa started screaming before I made it to the first stop light.  I looked back and saw ice cream spilling over the side of the chair.  I pulled over, threw the hazard lights on, and hopped into the backseat.  Her cup had one of those plastic lids that is domed up to accommodate whipped cream. There wasn’t any whipped cream, but she saw a hole big enough to stick her fist through and threw her straw out of the way so she could go for that ice cream with gusto.  The problem was, she got her hand stuck in the hole.

I got her wrist removed from the vice, wiped up the ice cream as best I could, swapped lids around so she had a normal flat lid, then jammed her straw back into place and went back to my chair.  I seriously have no idea why I thought everything would be okay after that.  Obviously, I wasn’t thinking much at all.

The van was incredibly quiet for the first few minutes.  The children were busy slurping their milkshakes.  I heard Willa make happy noises every then, but since I was engrossed in getting on the interstate, it took me awhile to turn around to check on her.  When I did, I saw the cup lying on its side at her feet.  She was happily gnawing on the straw.

Fortunately, the lid was still intact.

I started looking for an easy rest stop to pull over at, but, on this particular stretch of highway, there wasn’t a rest stop for miles.  I prayed the lid would hold and that she’d leave the cup alone altogether.  After some time with no incident, what little mental coherence I had must have relaxed because if we passed a rest stop, I didn’t notice.  I was Checked Out.  When I turned around again, the lid was off the cup and there was a giant pile of milkshake at Willa’s feet.

I hunted for the next available exit.  Fortunately, a familiar sign greeted me.  “Wayne’s Package Store” was just a half a mile away.  I laughed because I spent another eventful road trip in the parking lot at Wayne’s about two years ago.  I wheeled into my new favorite liquor store and went to work removing the worst of the ice cream.

Thank goodness for baby wipes.  And the lady at the drive through must have realized I was very stupidly giving all those milkshakes to children, because she handed me a huge pile of napkins.  For once, I was mildly prepared.

I threw away the rest of the milkshake and Willa didn’t really seem to care.  She had just enough of a sugar buzz to keep her from yelling until we hit our subdivision.  So, I guess even though I’ve got some extra laundry to deal with, maybe my milkshake idea wasn’t so stupid after all.

Oh, who am I kidding?  I gave a 12 month old a 12 ounce cup of milkshake.  They’ve locked women up for less.

Even worse, all this sugar and ice cream is gonna do wonders for those uncooked rice diapers I’m dealing with now.

Let’s hope I’ve learned my lesson….

Yesterday, I took a road trip with the five kids, plus my dad and all of his gang.  Needless to say, it was a two-vehicle endeavor.  We drove several hours to meet up with an old friend of dad’s.  His daughters happen to be in a Christian rock band.  And my kids know all their songs.  We went to catch up with our family friends, but I also got to count it as the coolest field trip my kids will ever go on.

We made it in time for the kids to watch the girls do sound check.  In a moment of genius, I brought ear protection for the kids.  I’m pretty sure that the entire day was worth the hassle, just to see their chubby little faces squeezed between those ear muffs.

My boys were totally mesmerized.  Sam loves the drums, so he watched Lauren’s every beat (she’s the drummer).  That’s my little brother sitting with them.

Ellen was in heaven.  She danced and sang out loud to nobody.

After sound check, we hung out with the Barlow family.  I bribed my kids to be still and let Mama visit by opening up my laptop and showing them cartoons.  This worked well until they spilled a water bottle into my keyboard.

*moment of silence please*

Man, it’s a good thing they’re cute.

I didn’t get the memo that the concert was outdoors, so I showed up with ear protection, but no coats.  I made do with some sweatshirts I found in the car.  Adam can make any outfit look good.

We spent a lot of time just hanging around, which was great for the grown-ups and tedious for the kids.  I took the kids on a walk.  We played follow the leader.  I made them play football with an empty water bottle.  And I let them climb fences and run up and down the stairs of the amphitheater a few times.  We stopped when I got tired.  Grampaw broke up the monotony the best way he knew how:  tickling.

Eventually, the rest of the family left and it was just me, my sister, and my five kids waiting for the concert to start.  Mrs. Barlow graciously let us chill in the dressing room.  I fed the kids the bananas and graham crackers I found in the backseat and called it dinner.  (Later, Mrs. Barlow showed up with a plate full of peanut butter sandwiches and snack bars.  And more water bottles.  I resisted the urge to revoke all water bottle privileges.  Ellen made me regret that decision when she spilled her water bottle eighty ‘leven times throughout the night.)

Ellen also apparently ate too many cookies after lunch (She made full use of the caterers’ table that was intended for the bands and snuck cookies when no one was looking).  Her bowels made us pay.  I was really glad I packed that extra handful of diapers.  We needed them.

All that to say, it wouldn’t have been a day with Vitafam if there hadn’t been poop, forgotten clothing, and 800 spills.

Once it got dark and the rain began to fall, we hauled the kids back up to the top of the amphitheater to watch the concert.  I have a few pictures of this, but they’re all pretty hard to see and without my laptop, I can’t fix them.  Suffice it to say, the kids were mesmerized at first.  They had their ear protection, of course.

The kids lined up in a row and stared, mouths open.  Once Barlowgirl started performing, they sang along for the first song or two, since they know the words.  Sam the Rhythm Man bounced along, gazing intently at Lauren on the drums.  Ellen danced like a maniac.  Adam alternated between watching and cowering under the blanket Mrs. Barlow gave us.  After the first song, which Ian mouthed the words to himself but refused to crack a smile over, Ian hid under the blanket for the rest of the concert.

After the first few songs, all of the kids alternated between hiding under their blanket and watching the show.  Ellen danced the most and Sam really wanted to watch everything, but he was suddenly very tired.  We stayed til the concert was almost over and then we headed home.

I guess all the running around actually did wear them out.

We were so blessed by the Barlow’s hospitality.  And to prove they had a good time, the kids took what they learned yesterday to heart.  They drummed in the car tonight for an hour straight.  I don’t know whether to thank Lauren the next time I see her… or smack her really hard.

For more pictures of our day, go check out my sister’s far superior photography skillz over at my folks’ blog.

So I held out on you a little bit with my last post about our weekend.  We didn’t just hike.  We hit the BIG playground.  The kids had a blast.  But rather than toy with your poor little retinas by adding words to all of this, I’ll just load the pics and close with:  We had a fantastic time.

Our weekend, part 1.

We loaded up the kids and headed toward the state park where Andrew and I spent a good portion of our college days.  When we first met, one of the first things we did together was hike with a group of friends.  So we took the kids up the mountain.  And then we took them on their first real hike. We actually followed the trail of the first hike Andrew and I ever went on together.  (And, just to be clear, I never skipped class to go hiking, but I cannot say the same for my intrepid Wilderness Man hubby.  And yet his GPA was still higher than mine.)

Now, I’m not saying it wasn’t completely nerve-wracking getting five little people down the slippery rocks and hills we traversed to reach our destination.  But it was totally worth it.

The boys were super impressed with this adventure.  Their eyes were bright, their energy was effusive, and their voices were loud and cheerful.  This sort of outing was right up their alley.

Even Willa didn’t mind traveling on my back for this trip.  (Although I’m not sure how many branches she got hit in the head with.)

Truthfully, I started out carrying her in front, but about halfway down the incline, I decided that she was throwing me off balance and since we already know I’m not the most graceful of mamas, we stopped progress to avoid disaster.  Andrew helped me switch her around.  I tied my sweater around the front clasp, tucked my iPhone into my, er, um, undergarment so it was easily accessible, and we were good to go.

The enthusiasm for our hike didn’t wane.  The boys wanted to climb as much as we would let them.  I tried to be brave and encourage them.  But, I’m not gonna lie, my heart was thudding in my chest most of the time.  It was slippery out there.

Adam, sweet middle child of mine, was in his element.  He’s our most accident prone kid, but he loves to climb.  He’s part mountain goat, really.  He tromped through the woods exclaiming loudly that he was “hiking!  I’m on a vaventure!  I love ta hike, Mommy!”

Back at the first overlook, we snapped a few pictures.  We stood in the same place Andrew and I had stood 12 years earlier.  Only we’d multiplied a little.

And we never really got a shot of just the two of us because, well, that’s just not our life right now.

But it’s a good life, you know?

Next we hiked the beginnings of the blue trail, which is the trail where I fell in the creek in front of all of Andrew’s friends I was trying to impress.  I’m basically the graceful equivalent of an elephant in a tutu.

Somewhere along the way, Willa gave up the ghost.  We had to strap the hood around her so her head wouldn’t flop up and down when I walked.

We headed to the car, feeling content.  Andrew and I held hands while the kids ran circles around us and talked excitedly about their love for this mountain.  Yep, we love it, too.  The crisp air fairly echoed with the memories of the flannel shirt and jean-clad Andrew and LL that were.  Only now, it was also echoing with the voices of our five children.

While I reveled in my nostalgia and sentimental sappery, Adam walked up to me and said, “Mommy, where else did you used to go before you had us?  And, can we go there now?”

I guess he decided we were cool after all.  Or at least, we were cool back in the day…